


More Than You Know

by phansundae (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Crying, Cute, Dan Howell - Freeform, Dan comes out, First writing, Fluff, Gay, Homo, Homophobia?, It Sucks, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan Fluff, Phan Smut, Phandom - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Phil cusses, Phil loves Dan, Phil swears, after 2009?, dan gay, dan likes phil, dans mom, dans mom is mentioned, he drops the f-bomb, idk - Freeform, im sorry, kinda homophobia?, not really smut, or phil gay, phaaan, phil bi, phils mom - Freeform, phils mom is mentioned, really sucks, they kiss oops, they like each other, who cares i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 13:48:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8251346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/phansundae
Summary: dan is kicked out :( and he goes to phil's for the night! a bit of fluff kinda cute. lowercase intended





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not good at writing i'm sorry

"uh mom?"  
"yes honey?"  
"um so I've been thinking about this for a while and uh mom, im- im gay"  
"get out"  
"w-what mom wait"  
"i said, get out"  
i leave after shoving my charger, blanket, and jumper into my bag. where am i supposed to go?  
i take my phone out and look through my contacts. who do i call? wait, phil?  
i go to text him  
"hey uh phil so i was kicked out. i have nowhere else to go um can i stay with you? just for tonight? i can take the train somewhere else tmw. its just too late now and i mean idk can i just stay with u?"  
[sent]  
*2m later*  
"idk if my mom will let me but just come over [address]"  
"thank you so much"

i go to his house. im pretty scared at first. what if his mom wont let me stay? i knock on the door and moments later a tall woman answers.

"may i help you?"  
"uh yeah um is uh- is phil here?"  
"yeah! i'll go get him."

a minute later i see phil walking over. all those feelings coming back from when i crushed on him. my heart being hurting when i had to move and leave him behind. if you didn't know, we were best friends, but i ruined it by telling him i liked him. thankfully my family moved away. we came back and we started talking again. then this happened, it changed everything. 

he let me in. i guess his mom did say yes? we walk towards his room and as soon as i step in, i fall to my knees and starting sobbing quietly. he pulls me up off the floor and i cry into his shoulder. im not sure what happened. maybe what my mom did finally got to me. i couldn't stop. we sit on his bed for a while. me silently sobbing into him and him gently patting my back. i kinda wanted to leave because i didn't want to bother him with my emotions. 

"i should go."  
"wai-why?"  
"i don't want you to deal with me. im too emotional."  
"thats what friends are for right?"

i stare blankly at him. i guess he was right. he didn't even know why i was there, let alone crying into his arms. all those past feelings i had from a few years ago are coming back. at least i think they are. we lay back on his bed. after a few mins of us silently breathing, he speaks again. im startled at first but calmed by his voice. 

"so uh why are you here?"  
"oh. well my mom kicked me out."  
"why?"  
"fo-for. umm okay phil there's something i need to tell you. i-im gay.." i say it. almost a whisper.  
he stares at me for a while. he pulls me in for a hug.  
"well your mom's fucked up. you can love whoever you want."  
"yeah, i guess."  
"it is. so, where are you going tomorrow?"  
"im not sure. i can take the train and maybe find a hotel or something."  
"no you're staying here"  
"what?"  
"i said you're staying here. i don't want you to be alone in a hotel."  
"oh well i'd be fine."  
"you're still saying with me"

he starts tickling me. he used to everyday back when we were younger. we're obviously older now. i cant believe we're older now. the tickling made me laugh again. its been a while since ive done that. i used to everyday. then, one day, it just stopped. no more random smiles or laughs. just blank faces. but its nice, being back here with phil. he always knew how to make me smile. 

after about an hour of talking about stupid things i feel myself falling asleep. i sit up to plug my phone in but he pulls me back down to sleep. he claims i dont need my phone. i just agree, even though i cant live without my phone. he pulls me into a hug before falling asleep. but i cant sleep. i just lay there awkwardly. does this mean anything or is he just being nice? after about a half hour of thinking i eventually drift off to sleep. holding his hand.

\---

when i woke up i notice we're still holding hands. i felt content. i stared at him for a while, just appreciating his sleeping face. after about a minute he mumbles something.

"how long are you going to stare at me?"  
"wh-what n-no i i'm sorry. i-"  
"haha it's okay."

i lay back down and feel my eyes water again. i try to hold back my tears, for phil, but a tear slowly rolls down the side of my face. he tries his best to comfort me, he really does. he holds me and tell me i'm special. i wish i could stay in his arms forever. before i knew it i was crying again. into his arms. i felt so bad. 

a few minutes later my crying has slowed down. i slowly pull away and apologize again. i stare into his eyes for a few moments until we're leaning in. suddenly i feel my lips against his, slowly moving. i never thought this would happen. i feel shocks, and all of these past emotions coming back to me.  
the kiss was slow. but it's getting quicker. i pull away. 

"phil, i- is this okay?"  
"why wouldn't it be?"  
"i don't know it just doesn't feel okay.."  
"we can stop of you want."  
"no! i liked it. i don't know."  
"let's go get breakfast. and dan, just so you know, i'm always here for you. and i always will be." he pecks my cheek. this is it. the man i've always wanted. 

"i really like you phil. like, really like you.."  
"i like you too dan." more than you'll ever know.

**Author's Note:**

> ummm so hi i wrote this a while back and i wanted to publish to see what other people think. i feel like ao3 has a bigger audience than wattpad so hi here i am. please leave a comment and thank you for reading sorry it's shit lol i can't write


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